


A Wolf in Armani

by HipsterHobbit



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Office, Alternate Universe - Supernatural Elements, Alternate Universe - Werewolf, Business, Humor, Levi hates everything, M/M, Manga Spoilers, Pining, Supernatural AU - Freeform, Werewolves, ereri, especially his life, literally everyone is a werewolf, spooky scary, well at least I hope people find it funny
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-09-02
Updated: 2014-10-13
Packaged: 2018-02-15 22:52:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 12,891
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2246328
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HipsterHobbit/pseuds/HipsterHobbit
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A night out that was more like a bad trip leads to Levi's life taking a turn for worse. Not only having to adapt to the new surprise promotion, but Levi is forced to come to terms with the fact that he may or may not be a werewolf. No problem then. A story of laughs (usually at Levi's expense), humiliation that comes with the whole growing up charade and awkward first loves that a middle-aged man should not be experiencing. Set partly in an office and what must be a dream world, because Levi's reality was never that interesting.<br/>Not abandoned, author is just ill.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Onwards and upwards

**Author's Note:**

> This fic sparked from my usual late night fanfiction binges. In all the Supernatural AUs that I read, Levi was usually a vampire or something similar, never a werewolf. I then decided that if Levi was a werewolf then he would seriously hate his life.  
> And thus this fic was born.  
> I'm currently also writing 'Point of Interest' too, so if you haven't seen that one yet then it would be cool if you had a look at it too, help a poor gal out an all that.  
> Kudos, comments, bookmarks and the like make me happy, thank you if you do any of those.  
> I'm levis-dildo.tumblr.com, my inbox is always open if you have anything to say.  
> I hope you enjoy!

Someone needed to invent keyboards that were less irritating.  The monotonous _tap tap tap_ haunted Levi's every moment, a constant background noise shadowing his life that caused his knuckles to whiten as he clenched in fury.

Office jobs really weren’t his forte.

Why the everlasting fuck did he apply for a fucking mind numbing office job. Fuck. Sure, the pay was pretty decent with his position and he got the weekends free, free from the torturous 9-5 that he was fucking chained to 'til death or incompetency do us part. You may now kiss the bride. Have a long and happy average life with her, fucker.

Average. Ugh. That concept, along with many, many other things pissed Levi off. Average. Neither fantastic nor terrible, just floating in between the two _with_ _everybody else._ Levi liked to distance himself from people for a reason, so being clumped in the same bracket with so many others made his jaw clench. Somewhere along the way Levi had forgotten his drive, his ambitions, his hunger to succeed, to climb, or claw if he needed to, his way to the top and look down at his surroundings beneath him and just think _fuck yeah, look at the shit I've done. You motherfuckers never thought I could do it_.

Unfortunately it appeared they were right. The teachers who had looked down on Levi with that fucking condescending look, his peers who just laughed at him, even his parents had seen through Levi's bravado, gazed into what he was lead to believe was the useable future and saw that the small boy with the smaller heart but bigger dreams, dreams that were far bigger than him, would amount to nothing. Nada. Sweet fuck all.

That boy who wanted to conquer the world, climb higher than anyone had ever climbed before and swim amongst the stars was glued to a flat-packed office desk, a slave to his computer, cursed to work what he personally believed to be one of the shittest jobs in the known universe.

How the fuck did he end up here?

Levi strongly considered hanging himself with his tie at least 5 times a day, 12 on a bad day. However there wasn't a suitable hanging space in his pathetic excuse for an office. Sure, he could walk and find a place to end his miserable existence, but that went against the unspoken office mantra/curse of _you'll never leave_.

He looked at his stapler. Even the stapler seemed to be judging him. _Maybe I could staple my own eyes out and end this._

 _Tap tap tap_.

Levi sighed. He really fucking hated that sound.

"Leeeeevviiiiii"

Actually that was a sound he hated more.

Knocking over his pot of pens as he scrambled under his desk (sacrifices had to be made in the midst of battle), Levi pulled his legs in tight to his chest as the ominous stomps edged closer.

"Leeeeevviiiiii where are you?"

The dark haired man ground his teeth involuntarily, making a louder sound than he had planned to.

"Head of human resources Mr. Levi Ackerman AKA Mr. Cutie Patootie, mama knows you're here, show me your cute little face."

In his little square cavern of darkness made of reasonably priced Scandinavian furniture, Levi prayed for a quick ending. He had no desire to leave the world the way he entered it- kicking, screaming and covered in shit. And preferably as far away from a vagina as possible thank you very much. But that all came crashing down when a face with an oversized grin that seemed to have crawled from some child’s nightmare swarmed his vision.

"Leeeeeeviiiiiii." The face crooned. There was a body attached to the thing too but Levi didn’t want to think about that yet.

"What is it, shit for brains? Don't you dare fucking touch me or I'll shove this shitty ballpoint pen so far up your nostrils I'll liquefy your brain and perform a live mummification on you."

The face backed away, much to Levi's relief, the menacing sheen on the glasses were starting to disorientate the little man.

"That's no way to speak in a business environment Levi!"

"Hanji, since when have I ever been suitable for a fucking business environment, especially human fucking resources, I mean, how desperate were you people."

Hanji roared with laughter as Levi managed to crawl out of his temporary safe haven and back into the world of fucking office work. Hanji's long brown tresses had been pulled into a wild ponytail that looked like it was trying to escape its fate. Levi was not convinced it was the most professional hair style for the head of marketing to be wearing, even he made effort with his appearance, but no one was willing to attempt to try and iron out one of Hanji's many, _many_ quirks.

“Why are your pens all over the floor?”

“Collateral damage.”

Hanji rolled her big eyes "I've just dropped by to say that the Commander wants to see you in his office."

"So Erwin's gotten you to do his leg work for him now? Eyebrows has fucking reached new levels of megalomania."

Laughter erupted from Hanji once more, spilling across Levi's lair, for it was a lair after all- a dark place wherein he plotted the collapse of the infrastructure surrounding him, cackling maniacally at the destruction he had created. Sitting at a desk all day did tend to scramble your brains a bit, after all. Hanji, for reasons that were unknown to him, found Levi absolutely hilarious. It did great things for Levi's battered ego, so that may have been part of the reason that her bloated corpse hadn't been discovered rotting away in the sewers yet.

"I was just in his office so I offered to pop by instead of sending fresh meat for you to terrify."

Hanji had a point there. Levi did have a reputation for terrorizing new interns. He protested that it was a way to wheedle out the weak and send the ones who still needed someone to hold their hand at every fucking step sent packing. There was one particular incident where an intern fresh out of university had made a mistake with Levi's morning coffee, an occurrence which happened far too frequently for Levi’s liking, and in the process had unknowingly unleashed hell on the 5th floor. She had swiftly resigned her position in a flurry of tears and fled. This had earned Levi the reputation of being the ‘tiny tyrant’.

"Also, I'd head over there ASAP as this is quite important, don't want to keep the big man waiting." With a waggle of her eyebrows and a lopsided grin, Hanji pranced out of Levi's office to irritate god knows who else. Hopefully the prats on the first floor. Levi had his suspicions that they were the ones who used up all the paper in the printers and were not fucking replacing them.

Levi pinched the bridge of his nose. He was in no hurry to see Erwin as that was more than enough human interaction for one day.

Which was kind of unfortunate as Levi was the head of fucking human resources.

Not wishing to have to listen to anymore hapless workers bitching and moaning about how some slack jawed coworker had knicked their lunch from the fridge (they were working for a high revenue international corporation, people still did that) and somehow expected Levi to offer them his condolences for their loss. Nope, Erwin was far better.

Opting to take the stairs up to the top floor instead of the lift, Levi made his way up to Erwin's office. The stairs were exerting, sure, but it wasn't anything Levi couldn’t handle and it allowed him to stretch his short legs after being cramped under the confines of his desk all day. Also the lift meant standing awkwardly with people in a confined space. Being head of human resources meant it was your job to know everything about everyone, so being stuck in a lift surrounded by workers complaining about their sorry little lives to you was a scenario Levi tended to avoid.

Just like the man itself, Erwin's office was extravagant and sophisticated. Sprawling across the majority of the top floor and overlooking the vast expanse of the city below, it was safe to say that Erwin Smith was an important man. That may have been because he was the CEO of a multimillion insurance company, but for all anyone knew he could be a successful squatter.

"Levi, nice of you to make it." Erwin offered the shorter man a seat as he shook his hand. Levi's smaller, slender hands were lost in the man's large grip. He tried to not let that bother him.

"The ape you sent me said you needed to see me for something.”

A perfect white smile emerged on Erwin's chiseled features. Not only was he exceedingly wealthy and powerful, he was also fucking handsome. Levi had to remind himself that Erwin was his boss and possible friend (Levi didn't like to throw the f word around lightly) and shoving his face into a sand belter would not be the best course of action. It wasn’t considered professional to sand down your boss’ face, human rights and all that.

“I have a proposition for you.”

“If it’s casual sex I’m afraid I’m going to have to decline.” Erwin was undeniably aesthetically perfect in every sense, but he was just not Levi’s type. For starters, he was still alive.

His boss’s deep chuckle put Levi on edge even more. After over a decade of knowing Erwin he was still not fully prepared to drop his guard around him. Pleasantries aside, there was something lurking underneath the perfect façade, a more sinister and hard man that Levi theorized made him look like Mother Theresa in comparison. But that’s what business does to you, unfortunately- if you were easy to tread on you were crushed.

“How are you liking being HRM Levi?”

When Erwin had risen to position of CEO little over a year ago after Shadis had stepped down, one of the first things he had done was to promote Levi to head of HR, for whatever reason that was, Levi wasn’t entirely sure on that man’s judgment anymore. When one thought of someone to be HRM, an approachable, motivated person came to mind, not a crass little man who many believed could kill a man with his glare alone.

“I think I excel greatly in making workers reach their optimum performance because I constantly terrify the little shits. However, when it comes to sorting out people’s problem, to quote one disgruntled worker, I ‘royally suck ass’.”

“I knew you would find ways of motivating the staff when I promoted you, people want to impress you, Levi. You don’t sugar coat anything and have no problems telling people the truth.”

“Too fucking right.” Levi snorted. Sometimes he thought he should keep his language in check whenever speaking to Erwin because professionalism and all that shit, but Levi knew he couldn’t keep his mouth in check and after all, if his creativity with the English language offended his boss then he would have been fired years ago.

“You have a keen eye for detail Levi and a shrewd mind. You’ve worked for this company for 10 years now and you’ve never disappointed. I need people like you working closely to me because I know you wouldn’t hesitate to tell me if my judgment was wrong and I could trust you to pick up any mistakes I could make, not that I make any of course.”

Levi snorted at this, but he couldn’t help but sit up straighter in his chair, he liked where this conversation was going.

“I would like to offer you a promotion.”

“To what position exactly?”

“Think of it as vice-CEO.”

“Would that mean I don’t have to listen to people bitching at me all day?”

“Well, ye-“

“I’ll take it.”

Erwin’s crisp striped shirt crinkled underneath his suit jacket when his broad chest shook from laughter. “But Levi, you don’t even know what you’d have to do yet.”

“When I said I hated people talking to me all day I did mean it. I’m not the office’s favourite agony aunt, you know. But yeah, what would this new position entail?”

“You’d take a far more active part in the company and its direction, vision and purpose. You’d help me evaluate the company’s successes, strengths and weaknesses, and create business plans and strategies accordingly. You would also have to represent the company’s corporate image to some extent, but I will try and limit your involvement in that as much as possible. But most importantly, if for whatever reason I am unable to fulfill my role as CEO then you would take over my responsibilities for however long that may be.”

_Holy shit._

“So if you were ill or something you’d want _me_ to act as CEO for fucking Survey Insurance?” Levi asked, not quite believing what he was hearing. “I’m sorry, I’m flattered and all that, don’t worry, but are you sure you’re making a wise choice here? There must be someone else in this company that would be more…suitable than me?”

“Levi, this has been the easiest choice I have made in a long time. I do believe that if the occasion did arise that you would make an excellent CEO. Sure, you might offend a few people and make more than several interns cry, but I know I could trust you to take the company in the right direction.”

Grabbing one of the fountain pens lined up neatly on his desk which were possibly worth more than Levi’s childhood home, Erwin scribbled a number onto the back of one of his pristine business cards

“If you need any more persuading, this would be your new salary if you accepted the position.”

_Holy shit._

The figure before Levi swam in his vision. That was a few more zeros than he was expecting.

“It won’t be an easy job- the hours will be long, the workload will always be high and people will be trying to stab you in the back at any opportunity. But if you succeeded, Levi, you’d reap the rewards.”

“Holy shit.”

“I know this is a big decision for you to make, Levi. Please, take your time, I don’t want you to take this position half-heartedly- I want someone by my side that is ready to give their heart to this company and its vision.”

“Would I move out of my shitty office?”

“Absolutely.”

“And would interns be able to make coffee properly?”

“Absolutely.”

“And would I get a private jet?”

“Don’t push your luck.”

Saying it was a big decision was an understatement. As HRM Levi did already hold a lot of responsibility in Survey Insurance, and he didn’t really have a life outside of work so the long hours didn’t really bother him that much. But if something went wrong, if the company flopped and the revenue plummeted, then people would be pointing fingers at him. He would be partially to blame, regardless of his involvement in the case because he would be _vice-fucking-ceo_ and people would think he was a failure, nothing, average-

But then Levi remembered he didn’t give a fuck what people thought about him.

“Who were you thinking of taking HRM if I took your offer?”

Erwin shrugged. “I’d still have to interview for the position, but I was thinking of Nanaba.”

Levi nodded in agreement. “They’re far more suited for the role than I ever was, to be honest.”

“Nanaba is a lot more approachable than you are.”

“I’ll take the job if you’ll have me.”

They shook hand again, Levi hoping his palms were not sweating.

“I’m glad you accepted my offer, Levi. I’m expecting big things from you.”

“Is that a height joke?”

“Now that you mention it…”

“Since you were nice to me today I’ll let you off this time, Erwin. Just this time.”

“I’ll be sleeping with one eye open from now on.”

As Levi left Erwin’s office, a rarely seen smile tweaked at the corner of his lips. _I might be able to salvage something from this life after all._


	2. Dark roads lead to dark deeds

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A night of celebration ends badly for one.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thought I'd follow up with a chapter 2 fairly quickly!  
> Thanks for all the support so far, it's always worrying starting a new fic but when the feedback is good it's a relief.  
> Hit me up on levis-dildo.tumblr.com and if you could check out my other fics on here that would be smashing.  
> Hope you enjoy the next chapter :)

Initially when Levi had been invited out he had declined immediately. He hated night life- the lights were offensive, the people were offensive, the overpriced excuse for drinks were offensive. The constant over stimulation of his already drained mind after work was a concoction for disaster. Take the first time Hanji had insisted that she took him clubbing- after being knocked around one too many times on the perilous quest to get a drink by erratic dancing loons Levi may have tried to start a bar fight with a guy twice his size. To be fair, Levi was off his face on cocaine at the time, but he considered that a minor detail that lead up to him trying to wrestle an ex bouncer in the middle of the dance floor whilst Hanji filmed the entire ordeal.

More importantly he won, something that Hanji tended to leave out during an epic retelling at the annual office Christmas do. Even better, Hanji never insisted on taking him clubbing again.

It was natural for everyone, including himself, to be surprised to find Levi in a pub and not kicking up a fuss. The moment that Levi had stepped foot outside of Erwin’s office, Hanji had pounced on him and had cut off the blood flow to his arms from her hands clamping down on Levi’s shoulders. If she had a tail Levi would have imagined it would have been wagging. Of course she knew about the promotion, despite her erratic demeanor, Hanji was remarkably intelligent and very few bits of information made it past her. Apparently thought Erwin had discussed Levi’s new position with Hanji already, as she had been working alongside him for a number of years and the two had become very close.

After the interrogation that made Levi wonder how _he_ had been dubbed the tyrant in Survey Insurance, Hanji had politely asked in a completely non-threatening manner if Levi would like to go out with the senior crew and celebrate. By senior she meant herself, her partner Mike and Erwin, some of the people in the company had been working there for a number of years but they weren’t part of the ‘in’ team and therefore were not invited to get drunk with the CEO.

So Levi was surprised to find himself agreeing to a rather spontaneous night out. His sudden lack of resistance may have been down to elation of the new pay cheque and the realization that he would never have to return to human resources ever again. Suddenly, drinks with old acquaintances (Levi never threw the ‘f’ word around lightly) seemed like a fitting end to a bloody successful day.

It had been a while since Levi had seen Mike Zacharius. The frustratingly tall man headed up the accounting department, being appointed to that role for his uncanny forecasting ability. Mike claimed it was all down to his nose and that he could even smell danger. No one doubted him. He made a good partner for Hanji, with his many quirks and his laid back attitude compliment her excitableness. Mike was one of the very few people in Survey Insurance that Levi actually respected and would work with if forced to.

When the four of them sat down on their small table in the corner of the pub, away from all the commotion and boisterous antics, it was like they’d hardly been separated. The hectic current of the city life contrasted to the steady flow of conversation that the four of them shared.

 _This is nice,_ Levi dared to think _this is actually nice._

Even Hanji’s squawking wasn’t as irritating as it usually was, and although he was loathe to admit it he was enjoying her company. He was enjoying their company. _He was enjoying himself._

“I think we’ve reached that point in the evening to make a toast.” Erwin had raised his pint glass. Of course he drank real ale and not the cheap shitty lager that you could buy in packs from the convenience store. Levi liked to think that Erwin secretly liked to drink fruity cocktails and that the whole beer malarkey was just an act.

They hadn’t been out for too long, but naturally Hanji was already starting to feel the effects of the boozing and her head which had previously begun to orbit Mike’s shoulder was threatening a crash landing at any given moment. Like everything else about her, Hanji’s drinking habits were wild. _She is a fucking hurricane_ he thought as he watched her narrowly miss Mike’s crotch when some of her Bacardi had attempted to make a last attempt at freedom as she sloshed her drink around.

Erwin raised his glass. “This is to Levi on his well deserved promotion and all the hard work he has done for us.”

Hanji shrieked her approval and chugged down the remains of her glass, causing a smirk to come from her partner, snaking a protective arm around her back.

_Those two are so in love it makes me sick._

But had it really been 10 years? Last Levi had checked he had been applying for what he believed was a bitch boy’s position in a boring insurance company in an attempt to become the adult like he was meant to be. Had it really been 10 years? The bored meditation sessions at the photocopier, the compulsory team building sessions and being banned from them shortly after, his refusal to store his lunch in the team fridge because they were unevolved infected apes who had been sent from hell to plague him. Pens running out faster than his patience. Plenty of broker meetings, training days and business trips. He never even learnt what synergy and effective management was, but somehow he still managed to get job after job completed, finished, next job on the pile, leave it to me, everyone else is fucking stupid. 10 years of that?

_Jesus fucking Christ I’m old._

As he brought his drink (neat whisky of course, he needed something strong to get into his ice cold blood) to his lips, Levi couldn’t believe he was 34. Some days, most days, he felt older. But his memories told him otherwise, had it really been 10 years? It was true what his mother had said to him: time flies by when you pass 21. And it had been true, the days and weeks of his youth had seemed to stretch on forever, Levi had felt like he was going to be young forever. But getting a job, a flat, a mortgage, had happened. One day it was his first day, feeling lost in the sea of desks, and in the next it had been 10 years. The agonizingly long office hours that left him exhausted every week had somehow accumulated together into 10 fucking years.

_The days are long, but the years are short._

That scared Levi. What about the next 10 years? They’d fly by even quicker because the years _did_ get shorter because the fractions were always getting smaller and smaller, and soon in comparison to his life a year would mean _nothing._

And where would he be? Levi couldn’t imagine himself leaving Survey Insurance anytime soon, and he doubted he’d have a personal life again. What about retirement? What about death?

What about relationships?

Levi had been single for quite some time, unsurprisingly. Would he really be alone forever? The odds were unlikely with 7 billion other people inhabiting the cesspit called Earth with him, but of course there was always the nagging doubt skittering around at the back of his mind. He would never admit it, but Levi liked having a partner. There were very few (well, currently none) people that Levi would ever consider letting his guard down to, and it had been a long, long time since anyone had gotten close to him.

And he missed it.

It was a truth that would never be extracted from the back of Levi’s throat and out through his teeth as long as there was still air in his lungs. People hated Levi and Levi hated people. That was the be all and end all. But he missed the closeness, the _connection_ that was shared between two people when they were together. Not in love, of course, that didn’t exist. The archaic concept was outdated in a modern world, the expanding climate was harsh and unnecessary emotional baggage tended to get left behind.

The world was fast, unforgiving. Moments of serenity were cherished.

Levi finally stopped fighting back the smile.

“Oh my God Levi, you’re smiling!” Hanji slurred, glasses askew.

“I don’t ever think I’ve seen you smile.” Erwin laughed.

“That’s because I don’t.”

“But you’re smiling for us, Levi!”

“Fuck off.”

“Mike, you weren’t on the panel for Levi’s interview, were you?”Erwin asked. Hanji snorted some of her drink out at the memory.

“I wasn’t no,” The tall man shook his head. “I heard it was something else, though.”

Hanji guffawed loudly. “Something else? Let me tell you Mike, I have never been in an interview like it.”

“And yet you were all stupid enough to hire me.”

Erwin leaned forward slightly, swirling the remains of his last pint around the bottom of his glass. “We’d been interviewing all day, just your usual standard office job-“

“-It was a fucking bitch boy’s job, don’t deny it.”

“-and we’d had the usual, generic prospective employees. And then Levi was the last one to come in.”

“They saved the best ‘til last Mike, I swear to God.” Hanji giggled. “I can’t believe they even let Levi in.”

“So anyway, Levi saunters in with this big scowl on his face-“

“-That’s my usual face-“

“But we didn’t know that then!” Hanji cried. “I thought you were going to kill us all.”

“I thought about it.”

“Anyway, Levi definitely stood out.” Erwin continued. “For starters, he was wearing _the cravat-.”_

“-the dress code said ‘smart’.”

“Yes but since when has office work been _cravat smart?”_ Hanji protested.

“-and we saw on his CV that he’d had no work experience prior, bearing in mind he was 23, 24 at the time.”

“-so we asked him about that and he confessed it was because that no one had wanted to give him a job before because they thought he was, and I quote word for word, ‘fucking rude and too angry for their sorry asses’. Naturally everyone’s jaw dropped.”

Hanji and Erwin’s duel storytelling was in sync; they were both feeding off each other’s amusement at the memory.

“-apart from Hanji. She started laughing in the middle of a professional job interview.”

“I don’t know how you managed to hold it in, Erwin, it was the most surreal moment of my life.”

“So anyway, Levi was asked all the usual interview questions, and he was rude, blunt and so unbelievably intimidating. Basically the worst candidate you could ever imagine having in an interview.”

“So how did Levi even manage to get the job then?” Mike asked.

“I don’t even know.” Hanji confessed. “He did manage to insult every single person on that panel. He said Nile, remember Nile, before he moved? Anyway, he said Nile had this ‘constipated look on his face’ after Nile was scared into silence by Levi dropping toilet analogies into an interview.”

“But throughout the interview I realised that I liked the man.”

Levi’s eyebrows shot up at that; even he couldn’t believe he got the job after he told Nile that ‘he hoped his business plans were stronger than his facial hair’. _But how could they not hire you after that almighty slay, little man?_

“His language was appalling, he was completely unapproachable and I knew that most people would use the stairs if they saw him standing in the lift by himself. But I saw _something_ about him that made me think that he was what the business needed.”

“Every business needs someone who can talk about shitting in broker meetings.” Levi snorted.

“True, but you’re still banned from going on them ever again.” Erwin pointed his finger at him. “Anyway, so I asked Levi if he would change anything about the company.”

“Now this was fantastic.” Hanji blurted out. “Levi had not really prepared at all for the interview, but for some reason he had memorized the business plans and our annual turnovers for the past 10 years at least.”

Mike let out a low whistle. “You learnt all that for an interview?”

Levi shrugged. “I wasn’t sure how else to prepare. There was no point planning what I was saying because the majority of crap that comes out of my mouth is utter shit, so I figured that if I knew the company well enough and if they could get over my…open mindedness to the English language then I figured I’d have a shot.”

“So this short, angry man with a face that belongs on the FBI’s most wanted list sat there and analysed Survey’s strengths and where it had been falling down on in the last few years in blunt detail. He even offered a few solutions, which were used afterwards and entered Survey into its most successful era ever.”

“Don’t forget the part where he called our advertisers ‘fucking morons that hadn’t been discovered by natural selection because their brain activity was so low that it thought they were dead anyway.”

“And that was when Erwin hired me on the spot.” Levi smirked. “To this date that was the best reaction anyone has ever had to my insults ever.”

“Nile wasn’t happy with my decision.”

“I liked to think of myself as the main reason why Nile ran off to MP.”

“He would be appalled to find out that you’re vice-CEO now.” Mike chuckled.

“I never thought I’d see the day where I’d hold a higher position than Nile fucking Dawk.” Levi crooned and took a victory sip from his drink.

The evening strolled by before drawing to a pleasant close when last orders were called.  After a few too many, as Levi had predicted, Hanji was carried away bridal style by Mike, apologizing for his partner’s drunken antics. Hanji slurred in protest but didn’t complain when her face was pushed up against Mike’s chest.

“Are you sure you don’t want a cab?” Erwin asked, turning the collar of his grey wool coat up. _It’s probably Armani, that rich bastard._ Of course Erwin Smith, handsome CEO turned the collar of his Armani coat up, it was only natural. It didn’t stop Levi from grinding his teeth, though.

“I’m a grown ass man, Erwin; I’ll be alright walking home by myself.”

His boss gave him this concerned paternal look that made Levi want to sock him in the jaw. _For fuck’s we’re nearly the same age, dick cheese._ “Only if you’re sure.”

“Thanks for the evening, Erwin. I know I’m a pain in the ass and I’m generally shit at emotions and courtesy and being fucking _nice,_ but I appreciate this.”

The blond man smiled. “I hope we can do this more often, Levi. See you later.”

They headed their separate ways, Erwin down streets kissed with light from the vibrant city, Levi down narrow crevices between lofty buildings.

_What a great place to be murdered._

Levi rolled his eyes at his dire inner monologue. He tended to avoid the main streets as often as possible; they may have been safer but the endless sea of people made him feel nauseous. The back streets were the only quiet place in Trost, and besides, it had been a while since Levi had had a good fight.

_A midnight brawl, fight for my life. What a perfect end to the night that would be._

His twisted opinions were dulled as he strode down the backstreets towards his apartment. If one ignored the stale stench of piss and regret and the shit scattered on the floor then Levi’s walk home wasn’t going to be an unpleasant one. Rustling from dumpsters made Levi’s lips curl, _probably some vermin gorging itself on regurgitated shit._

That’s when he heard the growling.

Usually when animals made a noise Levi would continue on his way, not even bothering the creatures with a second look. He really wasn’t an animal person. He really wasn’t a people person either. Technically did that make Levi not a person then?

But this noise sounded throatier, like anger itself was threatening to claw through the creature’s throat and gouge Levi’s eyes out from their socket. It echoed and bounced across the grey wall bricks and the damp cobbles beneath his dress shoes.

Most people would have been scared at that point, but Levi was in complete control of his body. Shallow breathing, knees bent, Levi turned his body slowly, carefully, not wishing to move too fast and damage the illusion of safety that was created.

The silhouette was hard to make out in the dingy gloom of the alleyway, but from Levi’s sharp eyes he could distinguish the creature’s form. It was, it must, be an enormous dog.

It couldn’t be a wolf, right?

_That can’t be a fucking wolf, why the fuck would there be a wolf in a city?_

Amber eyes like warning signals flared out from the darkness at him, white’s of the teeth, bared fangs taunting him.

The growling became louder.

_Holy shit._

That was when the adrenaline finally started pumping through his blood. The wolf, no, it had to be a dog ( _what else could it be?)_ , wanted to attack him. Levi was strong and sturdy; he could fight off most men, but a wolf? They were packed with solid muscle, razor claws, teeth sharper than curses and its rage, pure, unadulterated, _anger_ towards his presence. There was no way he could fight that.

Of course he could always try running. His cardio was decent and his will to survive would make him ignore the lactic acid that would try and consume him. But the creature outnumbered him on legs 2:1 and would run him down and tear him limb from lim-

Time had no meaning in the staring match between Levi and the wolf.

_Dogs aren’t that big, dogs aren’t that big dogs aren’t that big dogs aren’t that big dogs aren’t that big_

The beast had slowly begun to edge towards Levi, paws silent in its slow saunter to imminent victory.

It knew it could take Levi.

Heart pounding like it was trying to find the easy way out, Levi watched as the creature emerged into a stream of light.

It was huge.

_Wolves aren’t that big wolves aren’t that big Jesus fuck I’m so fucked fuck fuck fuck_

Levi was not tall in stature, but the _thing_ looked like it was at his nose height at least. Black fur swayed as it slunk closer and closer, nose twitching as it inhaled Levi’s scent, his fear.

From the way its mouth curled at the edges Levi was convinced it was smirking at him.

“You fucking son of a bitch.” Levi hissed at the monster, for it was a snarling, enormous monstrosity.

That’s when it charged. Its accelerator had been slammed through the floor, engine heart pumping rage through its arteries as it launched itself towards Levi, springing off its hind legs with a deafening roar and slamming straight into the man before he could even consider running. Warm breath mauled his face before the creature’s jaws sunk down onto his shoulder. Countless nails hammered through flesh, blood, bone. The creature’s saliva dribbled down Levi’s shirt but he didn’t care about that right now, all his brain could focus on was the intense pain and he screamed out in agony.

He was dead. Levi knew that the thing would kill him and eat him and leave his remains in the dirty alleyway, rotting away where no one would ever find him and he would be dead, so fucking dead and just when things were starting to look up.

Howls chorused through the night.

_They’re fucking celebrating my death, look he brought the fanfare with him._

It sounded like more wolves. More wolves to sink their teeth into his flesh and bite away at him. _At least it will be over quicker._  

Instead, the dark monster released Levi’s shoulder, the wound saddened at the loss of contact and wept messily across Levi, trickling down and running across the cobbles. Levi’s eyes had begun to blur from the pain, but through the haze he could see the creature’s ear prick up at the cacophony. Something about the noise seemed to irk it, snarling in contempt. With one final parting snarl at his prey it sprinted away from Levi, leaving him in a bloodied heap on the floor.

He cried as he hauled himself up into a sitting position. Using his good arm to press down on the wound, Levi winced in pain as his hand met the bloodied skin. He had been fortunate that the monster had only managed to sink its teeth in and not do any further damage. He considered calling Hanji or Erwin for a few seconds, before deciding that he would rather get home than have to wait any longer in the dark. Levi knew how to deal with wounds himself, and the bite didn’t seem like something some antiseptic, bandages and painkillers wouldn’t solve, paired with a good night’s sleep.

He just wanted to get home.

Dragging himself up off the floor, Levi began walking quickly in the direction of his flat. Thankfully he wasn’t too far away from home now, but there was no way he could run in his current state. He was too tired and too hurt and too shaken up to move at anything faster than a jolty trot right then, gritting his teeth as the pain in his arm was shouting for attention.

_Just get home just get home just get home just get safe_

Resisting the urge to let his eyes frantically search the shadows for the monster, Levi kept his eyes firmly planted forward on his target. He had left the dark passages and opted for the lit up streets now, the cars zooming past adding to his ever increasing paranoia. People eyed the strange man as he trudged past, white faced, manic eyes. Mad, mad mad. _But you wouldn’t believe what I’ve just seen._

His right hand was warm from the blood. His left hand was cold and stiff from the tension, his body still rigid from the encounter. As he climbed up the stairs to his flat, Levi prayed he wasn’t leaving a trail of blood behind him.

He made sure to bolt the door after he had practically collapsed through the threshold. Levi drew the curtains in all of the room of his flat, just in case the monster, or something far worse, could see that far up a building. He didn’t know how good its sight was, but Levi didn’t want to test it either. Hopefully it was a once off encounter and his life would go back to its usual, ordinary and painfully dull self. He prayed, he really prayed.

The bright artificial light of his bathroom accentuated Levi’s haggard look. His black locks were everywhere, pointing out at hazard angles as a pathetic warning sign to other creatures that could be lurking out there. Levi’s usual glowering eyes were wide, fear causing his lids to retreat back into their skull.

And then there was the blood. His previously white shirt was now covered in reds and crimsons and browns. Peeling his shirt from his body carefully, Levi inspected the bite in the bathroom mirror. He let out a sigh of relief to find that the bleeding was slowing down and that the wound itself was not too deep. If it came to it, Levi would go to hospital and get it checked out, but for now he’d just settle on doing the patching up himself. His tetanus shots were up to date and his medicine cabinet under the sink was always stacked up as a precaution.

Clenching his teeth as he dabbed at the punctures on his flesh with antiseptic, Levi cleaned and dressed the wound as best as he could. He didn’t even bother to shower before he collapsed into bed, ignoring his usual high standards of cleanliness; some things were more important right now.

_Should have taken that sodding taxi._

Those were his last thoughts before Levi fell into a fitful slumber, sheets clutched tightly around him as there was no one else to hold him close.


	3. Invasion of the body snatchers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Levi nearly infringes on the Human Rights Act when he gets a new PA to torment/play with and things are still fucking weird.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the slight delay, but this story is slowly, slowly starting to get under way.  
> Thanks for all support so far, especially since nothing much has happened yet and I hope you all aren't disappointed with how this story unfolds.  
> My tumblr is still levis-dildo.tumblr.com, feel free to drop me a message whenever.  
> Enjoy!

Alarm screeching. Body groaning. Stumble to bathroom. Levi’s morning ritual had become deep set in his DNA, it had been the same routine for the past 10 years and had become as natural as breathing to him. Levi had trained himself over the years so that the bathroom light didn’t hurt his eyes as much as it used to when he turned it on first thing in the gloomy mornings. Levi was conditioned, he was a weekday warrior of the 9-5, defender of the office. His body was alleviated above the suffering he had to endure with his job, because he _worked in insurance goddammit._ Believe in the higher power and his. You will one day go to heaven if you obey by all his rules with no question. Hallelujah for sick pay.

Levi squinted into his bathroom mirror. Taking in his pallid skin, his eyes raked over his exposed torso.

It must have been a vivid dream, because Levi was convinced that a few hours ago blood was seeping out of a fucking gigantic bite from his left shoulder. The pain had seemed so real. Levi remembered the back of his head smashing into the cobbles as the monster had sunk its teeth into his shoulder, he remembered the howling piercing through the night, he remembered the explosive paranoia threatening to seep out of him as he slammed the door behind as returned to safety.

But his shoulder was unmarred. Smooth. He rotated his shoulder. It wasn’t even fucking stiff.

_What the actual fuck?_

Because those teeth had _definitely_ broken through skin, through muscle. No amount of dreaming could fake the intense pain, the feeling that white light had been plunged into his shoulder and had burnt up his insides, trying to destroy him by stabbing stabbing stabbing away at his body.

Levi must have had more to drink than he thought.

Shower, scrub, flay, clean. Blinked and he was in his suit. Yawn and his stomach was full and he was brushing his teeth. Zone out for a few seconds and Levi was walking through the doors of Survey Insurance HQ. Just another day. Nothing extraordinary had happened the previous night. He had just been dreaming too big again.

_Don’t let yourself get carried away, it was just a promotion._

It had all happened so suddenly and Levi was unsure when he was going to begin his soul-crushing, money-shitting new job. Usually promotions could take several months to finalise and put into play, so for all Levi knew he was going to be stuck in HR for even longer, not being able to quite escape just yet.

In his pocket, Levi could feel his phone vibrating. He never bothered to have it on sound as he found the noises the damn things made were obnoxious and he had enough fucking noise to deal with anyway, spewing out of his co-workers’ mouths, the traffic outside _and the goddamn keyboards._

It was an email from Erwin, telling him to meet him in one of the conference rooms on the 7th floor. Opting to take the lift for a change, Levi groaned inwardly when more people started shuffling in as the cramped box made its slow descent upwards. Another reason why Levi particularly disliked lifts was because of the confined space. Coupling that with his lack of height, it was a truly horrible experience. Being 5”3 (he rounded up to 5”3, that was close enough), Levi found himself mainly at shoulder height with all the other staff. Sure, some women were shorter than himself, but they tended to wear ridiculous heels to make themselves near equal with everyone else. Levi didn’t want to wear heels and so he spent the agonisingly slow journey in the lift with his cheek pressed into someone’s shoulder blade, or elbow for some of the taller ones. People would turn their heads to look at the limpet that had attached themselves to their protruding body part, to be met with a moody glare. Levi meant for it to be intimidating, but it was hard to look in control when your face was squashed up to resemble a disgruntled fish.

Smoothing out his cravat, Levi strode into the conference room. He wanted Erwin to remember why Levi was going to be vice-fucking-CEO. _Walk the walk, bitch, walk the walk._

Naturally Erwin was resting against the tables in the centre of the room, his long legs stretching out lazily in front of him. As a quirky add on Erwin had worn stripey socks with his shiny black shoes, _that fucking dork._ It was like Erwin one was of those dads who would insist whenever their kids’ friends were round that they were ‘a cool dad’ because _I wear cool socks, ignore my youth flying out of the window._

The obscene pattern on carpet, a vomit of colour on an off navy, was making Levi’s stomach churn. But then of course that could have always been the whiskey from the previous night.

“How’s your head this morning, Levi?”

He snorted. “I didn’t have that much to drink, it’s Hanji you should be asking that to.”

“She did come in today. I’ve heard she’s holed up in her office and asked to not be disturbed.”

“As vice-CEO do I now have the authority to barge into her office and tap dance on her desk?”

“…It’s not written anywhere that you can’t, but just remember it’s Hanji you’d be going up against.”

Despite her seemingly ditsy exterior, Levi never wished to get into a feud with Hanji. Several years ago a colleague had taken a disliking to her and started stealing her stationary. No one ever really knew what went on, but one particular afternoon he had shuffled into the office deathly pale. He resigned a few weeks later. Everyone knew it had been Hanji.

“You asked to see me?”

Erwin checked his phone quickly before answering. “I know in the past you’ve denied all help you’ve been offered, but as vice-CEO it is strongly advisable that you have a PA of some kind.”

Levi groaned. A PA meant that it was some cretin’s job to know everything he was up to. Levi was more than happy to write a detailed analysis of his shitting schedule, but the constant expectation for small talk was just too much to ask. _I may be vice-CEO, but I’m not that good._

“I’ve already taken the liberty of finding one for you.” Erwin continued. “He’s…the son of a close friend of mine. He’s a good kid.”

“Wait, how old is this kid?” Levi demanded. “I don’t want some shitty teenager parading around my office and answering my calls for me.”

“He’s 20. He’s a hard worker, Levi. I’ll think you’ll like him.”

Levi was about to bite back with another retort, when he noticed Erwin sniff the air slightly. A flicker of confusion crossed his boss’ face, before it was swiftly ironed out and hidden behind his cool façade.

“Levi, are you feeling alright?”

“Fucking peachy.”

“You just don’t seem like your normal self. Did something happen?”

Erwin looked so _concerned_ for him that Levi was slightly alarmed. Furrowing his brows, he was unsure of what to say next. _Hey Eyebrows, I think I had too much to drink last night because I thought a big fucking wolf tried to bite my arm off but there’s no bite mark or anything. Did you slip something in my drink or have I finally gone psychotic and I’m slowly going to slip into a downward spiral that will lead to me driving off a bridge?_

Luckily, Levi managed to dodge the question, as just at that moment the double doors for the conference room swung open and a young man strode in. Long legs, tight fighting suit and a shy smile definitely had Levi’s attention.

“Hello Mr. Smith, and you must be Mr. Ackerman, right?” He offered Levi his hand. Levi rarely shook hands, he usually chose to give the offending object a disgusted glare before the culprit detracted it.

But he shook this guy’s hand.

“And you are?”

“I’m Eren, Eren Jaeger, sir.”

_Not bad._

“If you’re my PA, does that mean you can stop fuckwits from talking to me?”

Eren was taken aback at the course language from such a senior person in the company, but he quickly hid his surprise. “Well, yes-“

“You’re fucking hired, when can you start?”

“Uh, well, right now I suppose.”

“Eren,” Erwin was using his Dad voice again which made Levi seethe. _I am Erwin Smith, the all father, the manliest man to ever man. I’m so wonderful that holy light shines out of my backside._  “Levi may be your boss, but if he starts pushing you around too much then let me know.”

The scared look that crossed Eren’s face was so beautiful that Levi wanted to frame it and hang it in his flat.

“The rumours are true, kid.”

“He’s not called the tiny tyrant for nothing.”

Levi’s eyes widened whilst Eren tried to hold in a snort “How the fuck did you hear about?”

“It’s my company, not much gets passed me.”

The giggles threatening to escape from Eren were silenced by Levi’s glare. He’d only just met the kid and the bitch stares were already coming out. _This is why you have no friends, you terrify them into submission._

“Why do you want this job, _Mr. Jaeger?_ ” Levi rolled the name on his tongue, working out where he fitted in his mouth. _Hopefully down my throat. Wait, fuck…_

“Please, call me Eren,” The kid winced. “I’m only 20, I’m not that old yet.”

“So you think myself and Mr. Smith are old?”

Eren looked like he had just stepped into a hornet’s nest butt naked. “No…no I-I didn’t meant it like that I-“

Levi decided that he liked watching the kid squirm. He had found a new way to pass time in the office. _Maybe having a PA is not a bad thing after all. Especially a cute one._ “It’s your first day, brat, and you’ve not only insulted me, but the CEO of this company too, what do you have to say for yourself?”

Stammering, Eren looked at Erwin in the hope of finding some small comfort in the familiar man. To Levi’s pride, Erwin’s face was unreadable, he was playing along with him.

“I-I’m so sorry,” Eren stuttered. “I didn’t mea-“

“If you fetch me a black coffee pronto right this instant you might be forgiven.”

Eren dashed out of the conference room like his life depended on it.

“Eren!” Erwin called out. Stumbling could be heard as the kid hurried back to see what the CEO wanted.

“Y-yes?”

“Make that two coffees.”

The two snickered together as they heard their new victim hurry away.

“Pronto, really?” Erwin guffawed. “Never thought I’d hear that come from you.”

“Shut up, it seemed like a good thing a vice-CEO would say to their work bitch.”

 

Eren had gotten lost on the way back to the conference room, his tie flopped over his shoulder as he barged back into the room. The coffee was not as scalding hot as it should have been, so Levi thought he may have to reprimand him, as coffee was a serious business in the office. However, the coffee tasted good, the kid had some redeeming features. _Not just a pretty face, after all._

“Is it okay?” Eren asked sheepishly. To think that earlier today he had strode into the room with such confidence, and now he was pawing at Levi’s feet, yearning for his approval.

Levi liked where this relationship was going.

“It’s good coffee kid, if you keep making shit like this then you’ll get on well here.”

A vibrant grin spread over Eren’s face at the compliment and Levi felt something weird stir inside him as the kid’s eyes lit up even more, which he didn’t think was possible. It was a weird feeling, like a parasite had hatched just behind his solar plexus and was starting to wriggle and writhe inside of him. It was a fucking weird feeling.

_Must have been something in the coffee._

 

As it turned out, Eren was indeed a hard worker. Levi watched (he wasn’t ogling at all) in wonder as the kid filed the stacked pieces of paper on his new desk at top speed. The kid’s cheeks were slightly pink, but somehow Eren managed to keep the pace going as he crouched up and down, placing paper after paper into their corresponding location. His suit fit well for someone so young, as Levi had noticed a recurring pattern in the young interns having suits that were not _quite_ right, as they had tended to have not grown into themselves yet. Levi tried to forget the myriad of suits that were too small or too big on the shoulders or too long in the leg that they dragged slightly on the floor. But they were brought that size as the little shits were likely to have another growth spurt, much to Levi’s utter disgust. Young men, as in overgrown children who still lived with their parents, didn’t have spare money to have a tailored suit and were forced to settle with buying off the rail. But not Eren, his suit appeared to have been sewn around his skin, following the structure of his body perfectly, defining the sumptuous slope of his-

_Fucking Christ, what the actual fuck, Levi. He’s meant to tend to your every whim, but not like that._

Another perk to the kid, the gift that kept on giving it seemed, was that Eren didn’t like to talk when he worked. Whilst Levi was signing papers as Eren toiled away on the endless bulk of filing, it was total silence. Even if the phone rung, Eren would leap for it first and deal with the cretin, meaning that Levi _didn’t have to fucking talk to anyone._ The kid was so focused on his job, throwing himself with relentless passion into such mundane tasks that usually made Levi want to try and suffocate himself on the bulk of elastic bands he had accumulated in his bottom desk draw.

Eren was a godsend and Levi felt like skipping around the office singing hymns. _But there’s no fucking way I’m going into Confession anytime soon. How’s it hanging father, I’ve been a little shit for wanting to fuck the hot piece of ass that is my office bitch boy over a desk. I’ve also stolen a ridiculous amount of stationary because I wanted to fuck with my co-workers. Try and get me into heaven now, motherfucker._

A muffled groan came from the corridor. Levi would have thought that the zombie apocalypse was nigh if he did not recognise the forlorn sound as his hung-over colleague.

“Barcardi burnout?”

“I regret my life choices.”

Hanji shuffled in, her hair somehow even messier than it usually was. She made it up to Levi’s desk before flopping dramatically against it and groaning loudly.

“Getting that drunk when you have work the next day is irresponsible, especially for a head of department, Ms. Zoe. Do I need to give you a formal reprimand?”

“Fuck off,” She wailed into Levi’s new oak desk, the vice-CEO couldn’t deal with the cheap flat pack shit anymore. “I don’t care if you’re now Erwin’s bitch, you’re still just little Le-Le to me.”

“Don’t fucking go there, fucknut, or I’ll start shouting in your ears, it’ll empty some of the shit in your head out.”

Eren had halted in his work-workout and looked slightly aghast at the exchange between the Head of Marketing and the vice-CEO of internationally renowned Survey Insurance. _The little fucker thought he was joining some prestigious firm. Motherfucking plot twist: we’re all fucking crazy and have a kleptomaniac stationary stealing gang that prey on the weak._

The wailing mess on Levi’s desk was refusing to budge. Levi wrinkled his nose, he didn’t want Hanji getting snot on his new, pristine desk. He didn’t even want to know what that woman was infected with, he was pretty sure that her insanity was contagious.

“Hanji, get the fuck off my desk.”

With a moan, Hanji pulled her sorrowful self upright, before catching site of a slightly awkward Eren who had no idea how to go about introduce himself to a painfully hung-over head of department on his first day.

“Eren?”

“Hey Hanji.”

“What the fuck are you doing here?”

Levi looked between the two. “Wait, you two fucking know each other?”

“Yes,” Eren confessed. “Hanji is…an old family friend.”

“How many more people do you know here, kid? Everyone but me?”

“Levi, you would have met Eren before but you never go out and socialise, that’s kind of how you meet people”

She turned her attention back on Eren, who no longer looked like he was going to shit himself. “Has Levi broken out the whip yet?”

And the look was back. “W-what?”

“I only break that out after hours, Hanji, don’t get the kid’s hopes up, he needs to keep focused on his work.”

 _Is the little shit blushing?_ A rosy tinge had appeared on Eren’s gawking features, spluttering and confused even more.

Levi shared a look with Hanji. _We’re going to have some fun with this one._

That was Hanji sniffed the air. Sure, Mike tended to do the whole sniffing thing because that was his quirk and Levi had stopped questioning it. Erwin sniffing earlier had been slightly weird and out of character for the big man, but Hanji? _What the fuck is going on today?_

“Levi, are you feeling okay?” A few minutes ago Hanji’s features were near paralysed, the previous night rendering her sluggish. But now, her eyes were sirens, panic evident on her face.

“I’m feeling like my normal shitty self.”

“Has anything changed at all?” Hanji grabbed the front of his suit jacket, yanking him so close that their faces were inches apart. “This is very important, trust me!”

“I still want to commit mass homicide, but I have a new office and a personal slave so you’re all safe, don’t worry.”

“Has anything strange happened in the last 24 hours? Something completely out of the ordinary?”

Levi found he couldn’t look directly at, her big brown eyes were so filled with concern that it physically hurt him. He wasn’t used to people being so worried for his well-being, and he resented that he was going to lie to her. Of course Levi was going to lie- how on Earth could he tell her? _Well come to mention it Hanj, last night I was attacked by a big fucking wolf, like fucking huge, in a back alley. Yeah, a wolf in Trost, no fucking biggie, fuck. Fuck fuck fuck._

“How much did you have to drink last night? Fucking Christ let go of me.”

Hanji backed off dejectedly, looking like a kicked puppy. “I’m sorry, Levi, it’s just…something’s changed about you.”

“You do look a little off, Mr. Ackerman.” Eren added. “Are you sure you’re okay?”

“What the fuck is up with you people?” Levi cried. “First it was Erwin and now it’s you two, did someone shit in your coffee or something? Listen to me: I’m okay. I’m still the same old miserable fucker with an inferiority complex, and you’re all still the same slack jawed pieces of shits that crawled out from the sewers somewhere. Now unless you’ve all been drinking the same lead-laced water, I suggest you all leave me the fuck alone and stop worrying about me. Nothing has happened, because nothing ever happens, okay?”

Levi looked between Hanji and Eren, who were standing there looking a little scared at his sudden outburst. His chest was heaving as oxygen was trying to find its way back into his body. Looking down, Levi noticed his fists were tightly clenched by his sides, shaking. Levi operated in a constant state of being pissed off with the world, but it had been a long time since he’d gotten _that_ angry. Levi had thought he was in better control of his body than that and was slightly disappointed at letting himself go, especially in front of Eren.

 What would Eren think of him now? Eren probably wouldn’t go to the same lengths to impress Levi anymore, he most certainly wouldn’t hit him with a 100 watt smile anymore, Eren wouldn’t, Eren wouldn’t, Eren wouldn’t-

_Fuck. Stop thinking about the kid._

Hanji had mumbled a quick apology before leaving his office. Eren had thrown himself back into filing, but Levi noted he didn’t quite have the same enthusiasm about it as he did before, it was more like Eren was doing a chore that had been outstanding for a few too many days. With a sigh, Levi continued to do his mind-numbing paperwork, typing away on his keyboard.

The only sound that filled his office was the fucking sound of his keyboard taping.


	4. Chrysalis

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The stabilisers are off but it turns out the ride was not as easy as Levi initially anticipated.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay...so this update took a lot longer than I would have liked.   
> I'm really sorry about that but I haven't had the chance to sit down and work with the chapter properly. It's not as long as I would have liked but I couldn't find anywhere to bulk it up, so here we are anyway.  
> My tumblr is levis-dildo.tumblr.com if you ever feel like swinging by.  
> Comments/kudos and the likes are always greatly appreciated. Literally, you guys are wonderful and do help get me through my week.

The backs of his shoes were beginning to pinch painfully at his heels from years of wear. Levi knew he should have brought a new pair of shoes ages ago, but there was nothing technically wrong with that pair so he had endured the niggling sensation that he was greeted with from every little step he took. Nevertheless, the irritating pain wouldn’t stop him from striding down the corridors of Survey Insurance HQ like he owned the place.

_Because I’m the shit here, watch and weep, motherfuckers._

The jitters of the promotion had worn off in a few days and now Levi could bask in the knowledge that he was better than almost all of the people in the vicinity.

He wanted a fanfare.

He wanted applause.

But most of all he wanted everyone to leave him the fuck alone.

People looked at him differently. Levi hated people looking at him. On the one hand, it was kind of necessary for people to have to pay attention to him if he wanted his ego stroked, because there was only so much narcissistic masturbation he could provide for himself. But striding down the halls, past rooms and offices, the other workers stared at Levi with a new emotion that he couldn’t quite put his finger on. Was it envy? Was it awe? Was it respect?

All he knew was that he could feel eyes following him wherever he walked.

There had been gawking in the past, of course, but now there was no secrecy about the staring. Workers were amazed that the _vice CEO_ walked up the stairs, they were amazed when they saw the _vice CEO_ parking his car, they were amazed when they saw the _vice CEO_ in the same bathroom as them, _because even vice-fucking-CEOs need to shit apparently._

At least no one spoke to him anymore. Levi did not even need to set his icy glare to slightly frosty to scare people away, the fancy new office already did the trick. But the hushed silence that dogged his footsteps was beginning to run thin, the novelty of the song had worn off after the umpteenth time on repeat. The only people that would willingly engage, or at least try, in conversation with him were Erwin, Hanji and Eren.

Now, _Eren_.

Levi had to admit he was impressed with the kid. He would find himself looking up from his laptop to watch the kid tearing down the hallways on his way to fetch something for Levi, or answering calls at break neck speed. Somewhere in that slender body Eren seemed to hold an endless supply of energy that Levi was jealous of. He reminded him of an overgrown puppy, Levi couldn’t help but smile whenever he pictured a wagging tail and collar on his assistant. Eren seemed to be constantly vibrating, never staying in the same place for a length of time.

_I bet the brat could last all night in bed._

_Wait fuck no fuck shut up no fuck shit._

As the week had progressed the lewd thoughts Levi had been having about his alarmingly young assistant had increased tenfold. He hadn’t been so fixated with a person since his dark, dark teenage years which Levi liked to forget about. _Of course I went straight from 8 to 22, please don’t scroll too far down my profile._

Miraculously, Levi had managed to make it to the end of the week. His body ached and his mind was static, but all his limbs were functioning and the body count in Trost hadn’t tripled over night. He had a hot as tits assistant, a big ass office and his new job was fucking awesome.

It was such a shame that something felt…off.

Initially Levi couldn’t _quite_ put his finger on why he felt odd all week- he was up to date with all of his jabs, his sleep schedule was pretty much the same as ever and all the food in his fridge was most definitely in date. But somehow it felt like he was unstable, like something was shaking the girders that had elevated Levi’s newly constructed platform of self-confidence that had been under construction for so long. It felt like someone was sitting on his back constantly, a presence living in his lungs and writhing around as he drew breath.

All in all, Levi felt fucking weird.

The pained looks and concerned voices from Hanji and Erwin were not helping in the slightest. Levi had been trying to avoid being anywhere near the two if he could, finding the constant barrage of ‘ _are you sure you’re okay’_ and _‘you can speak to us about anything’ s_ needed to stop as Levi wanted to have some teeth left from all the grinding they had caused him. Something had also ruffled Mike’s bonnet, when Levi had entered his office with a question on the latest logistic strategy he had seen Mike’s eyes widen.

Mike never had other facial expressions.

Something was going on and Levi was too fucked off to care as he packed up to leave. Hopefully he would be able to get out of the building without bumping into Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum. _I can go home and walk around in nothing but my fucking socks. Maybe I’ll break out that bottle of Bourbon I’ve been saving for something that will never happen. Maybe I’ll dance around to Remasters on repeat because I’ve fucking earn-_

“Hey Levi!”

_I hope you get fucked sideways by a rake._

It was Erwin.

_On fire._

His boss sauntered over to him, trying to look casual, collected, but Levi knew that Erwin had sprinted to catch up with him, the blond hadn’t been anywhere near him as he’d left the office. Levi didn’t grace Erwin with a response, it was the end of the week and he’d exhausted his ability to formulate words for the day. _I was so close…_

“Are you doing anything tonight?”

_Yes, fuck face, I’m going to eat a ridiculous amount of fucking ice cream and get drunk off my face because I’m a lonely man. This is me time. Me time. People time is between 9 and 5 on weekdays, please schedule an appointment in with my assistant if you want to bore me to death with small talk and pleasantries._

“Why?”

_If you want to do something I might punch you in the throat._

“I was wondering if you wanted to come over to have a lads night or something, just the two of us.”

_What the actual fuck. Are you shitting me, Erwin?_

Levi was suspicious. He’d been slightly paranoid all week but now something was definitely up. For all he knew Erwin was planning his elaborate murder and the police would never find his body because Erwin would have fucking eaten if because shit was getting _really_ weird. Nothing would surprise Levi anymore.

It wouldn’t be long before Levi would be eating his words.

“Thanks for the offer, but I need to be heading home.” Levi tried to walk away, but a hand grasped his shoulder, yanking him unceremoniously back.

“Levi,” Erwin was using his commanding voice again and Levi was getting pissed off. Well, more irritated than usual. He just wanted to get home and not talk to anyone for the whole weekend if possible. “I know you’re not busy, why not come over, relax. It’s been a hard week and I’ve got some old scotch stashed away. I can invite Mike over if you want.”

“I’m sorry, but I want to get home I’ll see you ne-“

“Levi-“

“ERWIN, WHAT THE FUCK IS YOUR PROBLEM?” Levi was angry. Scratch that, he was fucking _livid._ Erwin’s voice, Erwin’s hand, fucking _Erwin Smith_ was making him infuriated. Levi had been pissed off, he believed he existed in a constant state of annoyance and made sure everyone knew about it, but _this,_ this was something different. Something was bubbling beneath the surface, like Levi’s form was in fact a well-crafted façade, a costume to the masquerade ball which was compulsory to attend and Levi had fucking had enough and wanted to rip his skin from his skeleton and reveal the hatred that resided underneath. A monster, snapping jaws and coiled muscles packed with power and anger, he wanted to tear Erwin apart, limb by limb, to tear his handsome face away from his toxic skeleton and finally make an indent into that thick skull of his that _he wanted to go the fuck home and leave that fucking cesspool of an office behind._

Levi blinked.

That was weird.

Without another word, Levi walked in a slight daze to his car. Erwin didn’t follow.

He knew better than that.

And once again Levi blinked and he found himself sitting in his apartment, staring at the wall. A glass of water was in his hand and he had forgotten the entire journey home. If he did that too often he’d wake up one day to find himself lying on his death bed, all alone because the whole world had passed him and Levi had failed to grab on and enjoy the ride.

How the fuck did he end up here?

He wanted to sigh, but Levi couldn’t be bothered because that would be noise and his empty flat was silent. Levi could deal with silence, he was used to it after all and so he relaxed in the familiar loneliness. There were no questions, no expectations and no one asking him if he was _fucking okay._

Of course Levi was okay. That’s all he ever was-okay. Neither fantastic nor awful, neither content nor depressed. Just okay. Because that’s where he was expected to be and people didn’t tend to take notice of you there. He was allowed to drift by in his semi-limbo state as happy as he could be before he would be picking out his plot of land, 8 by 3 feet, freshly mowed and looking more inviting as the days strolled by.

_Fuck that._

It was time to do something about that. Levi was offered a new beginning, a fresh start, to some extent anyway. He was expected to keep moving forward, Erwin had thought him worthy of a higher place in the world, so perhaps he was worth something. Levi needed to remember how he used to enjoy himself, to relax and let that rarely seen smile make a comeback.

And so that’s how Levi found himself drunk off his face, dancing around his living room butt naked apart from his pair of woolly socks because the vinyl floor was cold and although he wouldn’t admit it to anyone, Levi enjoyed skidding around in his threadbare socks. _Vice-CEO motherfuckers._

Remasters had reached Immigrant Song now, a song which had sound tracked car journeys with his parents, his mother singing along loudly and not giving a single fuck about the judgemental looks from other drivers. His mother had passed long ago but Levi would always remember the way her mouth curled up into a smile as she sand along. She had given him life and classic rock and Levi couldn’t see the difference between the two sometimes.

The whiskey had filled Levi with that warm, fuzzy feeling faster than usual, but he thought nothing of it. Swigging straight from the bottle, ignoring the putrid taste and convincing himself that the shit tasted good, Levi allowed himself to get lost in the moment. He had a great job, he was listening to Led Zeppelin and was drunk as fuck. _And I’m wearing my favourite pair of fucking socks._ Life could be good sometimes.

As the chorus kicked in, Levi inhaled deeply before belting out his beloved chorus. Fuck the neighbours.

“WE COME FROM THE LAND OF ICE AND SNOW-“

But he felt far from cold then, Levi realised. He was _burning._ It had gone beyond the warm haze of alcohol to feeling like someone had set his blood ablaze, the fire burning, scorching through his veins and Levi feared that if he breathed then orange flames would come roaring out.

His knees gave way, Levi collapsed to the floor in a convulsing heap, the bottle of Bourbon vomiting out its brown liquid but Levi couldn’t bring himself to care. He couldn’t think, he was consumed in fire and the blinding pain.

_What is happening to me?_

He was dying. He had to be fucking dying because there could be no other explanation for the searing pain, could there? Levi hoped he was dying, he hoped it was some kind of unexpected aneurism and it would all be over soon, because if it wasn’t then his suffering would go on and on and Levi wasn’t sure if he was strong enough to deal with that.

There was enough strength left in his body to scream. But the stereo blaring out music muted his howling in pain.

Levi was howling. Humans didn’t howl, the yelled or shrieked or cried, but they didn’t howl like a dog, like a wo-

He didn’t want to think about that night.

He didn’t want to think at all. Death would solve that.

A tingling sensation washed over his body like a cold lick of air. Levi pulled himself up off the floor and looked down at his shaking hands.

It just made him scream louder.

They were not Levi’s hands before him. Gone were the pale, slender palms that had been refined for typing, for photocopying and using positive body language to communicate with his co-workers. All he could see was black hair violently sprouting from the backs of his hands. His fingers were elongating nearly as fast as the rising fear that was raging inside of him.

His hands were gone.

They looked like _paws._

Staggering to his bedroom, Levi slammed the lights on, noticing that even his arms were now sprouting the disgusting hair. Or fur.

No, it couldn’t be fur. He was human.

The creature in the mirror made Levi’s lungs hurt from the screaming. He could feel his body being destroyed and recreated beneath him. He was meant to emerge from his chrysalis as butterfly, something of wonder because Levi thought that maybe, just maybe something would go right in his life for once. He wanted to be appreciated, admired, his transformation into something spectacular would happen at some point in his life, he was convinced.

He wasn’t meant to transform into a monster.

The screams were silenced by the sound of bones snapping, cracking and contorting into something new, something unknown and the fear of the unfamiliar was fucking burning more than the flesh that was tearing. Pain was the only thing Levi could listen to right now, the strangling embrace was urging him to _let go, just let go and everything will stop and it will be okay._

Levi knew it wouldn’t be okay. But he let go of the reigns regardless.

And so he gave in and his thoughts, his fears, his dreams, no matter how big or how important they were to him disappeared, merging in with the agony to form one direct point of focus.

No thought. No feeling. Just instinct. And hunger. Levi, what he had been, was gone. He had no idea what he was anymore but he did not care.

He howled. He howled for something but he did not know what it was anymore.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm starting up school again in a few days so I'm hoping I'll be able to write for this in my spare time, along with Point of Interest.  
> See you next time!


End file.
